Out:

-Ireeverancy

So another art quarterly published a butt hole with paint around it or some semen on a piece of fruit. We get it. We’ve seen it. Move on.  

-The Clintons 

Americans’ favorite crime family is finally holding no political positions. Can we roll with that for a bit? 

 

-Yelp

In the time of rugged individualism why are people obsessed with crowdsourcing opinions? A year of lockdown should prompt us to go out on our own, taste it for ourselves, feel it in our bones, have our own experiences then form our own thoughts. 

 

-Cancel culture

So many people have been canceled by now that the group of cancelees is starting to look like the most diverse group in the states. 

 

-Ketamine

We know you're having fun but you look like you're trying to lick the back of your head outside of a methadone clinic. 

 

-Netflix

If we see one more unresolved conspiracy-led-murder-doc or an overproduced Ryan Murphyesqe “drama” we’re gonna need a heavy dose of ketamine. 

 

-The Royal Family 

I mean, enough. 

 

-Mice

It’s nice out. Get out. See you in winter. 

 

-Mid Century Modern

Enough with everyone’s apartment looking like the set of Mad Men. Americans sure know how to take a trend and homogenize an entire aesthetic. 

 

-Patti Smith

Ok. We dug some of the music and Just Kids was a great read but we don’t need to publish every rejected journal entry and English 102 collection of poems. There definitely is too much of a good thing. 

 

-Queer as an aesthetic. 

We got it. Septum Ring. Hair color. Personified kitchen utensil tattooed on the back of your calf. One dangling earring. Blllllaaaaahhhh. 

 

In:

-Toxic femininity 

Because equality is fundamental even if its baseless and annoying the fuck out of everyone. 

 

-Modesty

It's multicultural and a great representation of intersectionality. Female hasids. Female Muslims. Female Anna Nicole Smiths. 

 

-Forgiveness

It's just easier. And sort of hot.

 

-Sobriety 

Because constantly referencing your terrible drinking night and then feigning glee over the brunch mimosa that settles your hangover has run so basic we can find it on the clearance shelf at Kohls. 

 

-The Criterion Channel

Yea most of the films require patience that we’ve all lost but the psychoanalytical bounty one gains far exceeds the monotony of starship crashes and superhero jerk sessions. Lets try and feel again. 

-Religion 

Because dogmatic therapeutic verbiage and blind strict party political lines have become religions themselves and so if we're going to pray, honey give me man in a whale or a whore at a well.  

 

-Being an empath 

Honey, those are cognitive distortions. 

 

Iffy:

 

-Gays for Guns

Water Guns? AKs? Rubberbands? What are we talking about here? 

 

-Voting

They keep swearing it makes a difference while simultaneously telling us that nothing has changed.

 

-Local entertainers running for NYC office.

Marti Allen-Cummings, Paperboy Prince, Jeffrey Omura. Little experience and theatrical. Ain't that the same shit we got on Trump about? 

 

-Stick and Pokes

Regurgitation. Regurgitation. Regurgitation.

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